Urbanize Kenyon

The community at Kenyon College relentlessly bemoans its rural locale. Situated just fifty miles shy of the dead center of Ohio and a full hour away from a low-profile capital city, the school isn’t exactly in an urban jungle…

We Should Replace All the Stairs with Water Slides

10 o’clock list: Unexpected Theme Housing Applicants

Did Beyoncé apply for theme housing?

The acceptance window for theme housing applications officially came to a close with the start of spring break. Those seeking to avoid the wrath of the housing lottery flocked to ResLife, bullshit in hand, rushing to submit their proposals before 4:30 p.m. While you may have heard about some of the more typical contenders, such as Outdoors House and French House, you probably haven’t heard about some of the more eccentric applicants. This may be because they don’t exist–but if they did, we would pull for them. Here’s a list of student groups that should not only exist, but would spice up the campus with theme housing.

1. The Feral Cat House. Striving for excellence with a frisky state of mind, this group will not only facilitate informative cat massage lessons, but will also seek to raise awareness about feral cats through kitty cuisine, feline films, and knitting. Residents will forgo usage of typical bed arrangements in favor of sleeping in cat jungles.