Kenyon Situationship Support Group

Hello and welcome to the inaugural meeting of Kenyon’s very own Situationship Support Group!

10 o’clock list: Reasons Why I Am the Ultimate Kenyon Boyfriend

As of today, we’re officially T-minus five days from Peirce spending two-thirds of their budget on intensely mediocre surf and turf, or, as some may call it, Valentine’s Day. For those not lucky enough to be chosen for one of The Thrill’s always successful Peirce Dates, we’ve got you covered. Need a date to Pep Band Formal? A reason to skip Pep Band Formal? Well then read on, and learn why I’m ready to offer myself up as the perfect Kenyon Boyfriend.

Peirce Date: 2 Peirce 2 Date

We’ve seen your comments, we’ve heard your cries, and now it’s time for—you guessed it—the return of Peirce Dates. In this classic Thrill feature, we set up two complete strangers on a blind date in Peirce to prove that love can be found among even the blandest of vaguely-Asian noodle bowls. Join us and watch as romance, or at least new friendship, blooms.

10 o’clock list: Places to “Honeymoon” After Getting Kenyon Married

As a first-year, I am merely an outside observer of the concept of “Kenyon Married”. I am the accidental child brought into an adult-only romantic dinner at the quirkiest all-inclusive resort of all time. Except instead of a resort, I am referring to our fine liberal arts institution.

I got here a little over a month ago, so it is understandable and expected for me to not be “Kenyon Married”, or even “Kenyon Engaged”. I would argue that this perspective puts me in a prime position to make unbiased suggestions about other people’s relationships.

Or maybe I’m just the strangest combination of a Hopeless Romantic and Jaded Writer Who Likes Making Fun of Things on the Internet to ever grace this site. 

Kenyon Hexes for your Kenyon Exes

Halloween is a spooky time, but you know what’s even scarier? Horrible, terrible, no-good, very bad EXES! Not all our exes are demons, but wouldn’t it be nice if we could teach the gross ones a lesson? In a way that doesn’t involve direct confrontation? Good news, spooks– there is a way! Here are some quick and easy hexes, curses, and charms to cast on that one person you wish would just disappear. A spellbook isn’t necessary– only the will to bring pain (or at the very least discomfort) to those who have wronged you. Let’s get started!